Life is busy... we have our train tickets, scheduled to leave for Michigan October 11th, with our own little sleeping compartment. I bought a dress and shoes, my sister and sister-in-law are graciously helping get together decorations, food, and such, we have wedding bands (mine is an antique to match my engagement ring and his is new), we completed our invitation designing and printing today and are getting them in the mail... things are well underway- yikes!! It is exciting, scarey and good.
We still need to arrange a sitter for Shorty though.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love."- Stendhal
I met a lady not too long ago- she verbally accosted me, spitting as she told me how I was, well, not good, because I was "the state". Since this appeared to be one of "Cindy's kind" of clients (as Mary refers to them), I was, of course, interested and all ears. The state just wants people drugged up, not walking, not able to think, I was told. She pointed out that now her mind was clearer and her walking better since she was not on so much medication, which apparently the state wanted her to be on. I assured her that I was indeed happy to hear this. She was doubtful of me. "I've been in terrible places, places where they kill you if you don't think what they want you to think." Yes, I told her I believed her, that I had worked at a state hospital in the '70s. "Oh..." Her body told me with its slight movements that she had heard, heard beyond what the simple words themselves contained in meaning. "I've seen people killed for what they thought." I nod. As she went on to assert that the state shuts down homes and makes people move for no good reason, the lady next to her shook her head in agreement. I told her it is hard, hard to listen to people's stories about watching their friends carried out in body bags after the building they lived in burned down, hard to weigh everything knowing all that, hard to try to always make the right decision... She shook her head. "I talked to you more than I've ever talked to anyone from the state." I thanked her for the information and told that it was helpful for me. 
And then I left.
It was an intense interaction. She was angry, biting off her words as saliva popped out of her mouth. It was also a calm interaction- she needed me to be calm so that she could say the words in her heart. Yes, I believed her experience. She was right that she knew what she had experienced.. The world, and life, isn't always pretty, and it isn't always what we had thought, or hoped, but it always is. At least I think so, and I think it always is, well mostly always is, best to start from that point, to start from how it is.
"You can't change what you don't acknowledge."- Phil McGraw
We went to see Leon Redbone perform last night in Everett- a good show. The Everett Performing Arts Center is a nice venue- all of the seats are good. Leon put on a great show, as did the two young musicians backing him up on piano and horn. Leon is a bit of a mystery man, coming on the scene in the late 1970s with no discernible past... Fun, good times- go see the show if you have the opportunity. The picture of Leon links to his site, the cartoon links to a snippet of one of his songs.
The opening act was one I had never encountered before- a bubble blower. Apparently Tom Noddy is touring with Leon as his opening act, a fitting match since both borrow from vaudevillian times. The picture of Tom Noddy blowing bubbles links to his site, if you are interested.
"I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun."- Katharine Hepburn
Our wedding announcement has been sent out to family and friends in and around Michigan.
To view it, click on the heart to the left... :)
We are planning some sort of celebration here locally, but haven't gotten it together to arrange that yet. So, more later...
Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.~ Victor Hugo
Fall 2002 I went online to see who was out there to meet. As it turned out there were a couple of hundred men who met my "criteria" within 50 miles of where I lived- amazing! I emailed a number of men, and a number of men dropped out of the interactions, just as I dropped out of some myself. There are lots of middle-aged people out there trying to figure out how to meet someone...
I met four men after emailing for quite a while- you meet for coffee so it is in public and so that it can be short, if needed. Jay was the fourth man I met, and we had coffee for four hours. Yes.
If you click on the email graphic to the left it will take you to a copy of the "description" Jay and I had posted for ourselves on the internet, that drew us to each other. Hmmm, weird, but interesting to us.
The route you take depends a good deal upon where you want to go.- Lewis Carroll
Massacre Draws Self-Criticism in Muslim Press
By John Kifner, Published: September 9, 2004
BEIRUT, Lebanon, Sept. 8 - The brutal school siege in Russia, with hundreds of children dead and wounded, has touched off an unusual round of self-criticism and introspection in the Muslim and Arab world.
"It is a certain fact that not all Muslims are terrorists, but it is equally certain, and exceptionally painful, that almost all terrorists are Muslims," Abdel Rahman al-Rashed, the general manager of the widely watched satellite television station Al Arabiya said in one of the most striking of these commentaries.
The full text of this New York Times article can be accessed by clicking on any of the three pictures.
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it- always."- Mahatma Gandhi
There are times when people are overwhelmed and simply cannot hear, cannot process information given them. I have seen this over and over in the health care setting, where something seemingly simple is explained to someone, yet later it is realized that they did not retain some or all of the information. It happens with emotionally difficult information and with complex information- like explaining how to negotiate the maze to apply for public assistance or some other social service or housing program.
The most memorable of these incidents happened when I was doing some emergency room social work one evening and was called up to the cardiac unit- my expertise was needed because a man had just died and the staff needed me to be there when the family was told (this in itself is interesting, as I had never met the man or the family and had not been present for his care or death, yet his actual caregivers needed me to convey this information). I went up to the unit, saw the body in the bed, and was told that the family was in a little waiting room. I went to the waiting room and introduced myself as a social worker to the man's wife and adult son and daughter. Soon a doctor came in and explained to the family that the man had had a cardiac arrest, that they had tried to save him but could not, then left. I sat there as the information sank in, and then the wife said, "well, that doesn't sound too bad- does it?" The children murmured something in agreement. I was surprised. I knew that I was used to medical lingo, but the message had not sounded too convoluted to me. Somehow they had not heard the doctor's message. "The doctor was saying that your husband had a heart attack", their heads shook, "and that they could not save him", the heads shake more, "he passed away, he died". Thus calling upon my extensive training and insight to deliver the oh-so-complicated message. "Oh, yes.", and then the tears came.
They did not argue my interpretation- it did, after all, make sense. It was the same message that had fallen upon their ears, but not their hearts, a little earlier. And so, after a bit, I pursued one of the purposes of my visit, one of the reasons I am sent to talk to people in these interesting moments of their lives- did they know if the husband/father wanted to donate parts of his body? Yes, they were sure he did. We filled out the forms, read the directions together, and reviewed the process. I had never done this before, did not know the form, did not know the process, so we made it through this together. They asked if they could see the body, and I arranged this. They thanked me and I left. Later the organ donor place sent me a thank you note. I guess I followed the directions okay.
If you get a new, serious diagnosis, take a friend or family member with you to talk with the doctor about your options- if you're lucky you will hear at least half of it between the two of you.
"We are slow to believe that which if believed would hurt our feelings."- Ovid
38% : The percentage of Americans who live in poverty who also hold a job.
I got this info from the Habitat for Humanity publication "Habitat World" and it says the statistic is from the US Census Bureau.
"Friendship and community are, first of all, inner qualities."- Henri J. M. Nouwen
"I learned to listen to my body with an inner concentration like meditation, to get guidance as to when to exercise and when to rest. I learned that healing and cure are active processes in which I myself needed to participate."- Rollo May
9/11/04: Two years, one brief relapse. We wish so much for our children, and we fail them so miserably. We are all survivors of childhood. We all belong to the group called Children of Adults. To live, to grow, we move on. No gnashing of teeth will recreate our deeds, nor change what is. This is it. We decide how to proceed, we decide what will be our response, our attitude, and we decide what fills us up inside. C'est la vie. It is the life. Stop and remember, it is so good to be alive. It is an honor to be a mother.
"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt."- Max Lerner
Jay and I have this week off. On Sunday we went to the Frye Art Museum in Seattle and saw a great photography exhibit with 19th century American prints. Afterwards we made it out to Maple Valley to see Carol's new estate :). She has a lovely, brand "spanking" new home that she shares with her daughter, grandson and ex-mother-in-law. It was great seeing her and catching up. The picture of Carol, Jay and I links to the Frye site.
On Monday we ventured out to Northwest Trek animal park and enjoyed being out in the woods and seeing so many animals, including a pair of bull elk locking antlers. The picture of me and my buddy the bear links to that site. On Tuesday we went to the Puyallup fair and enjoyed the exhibits, went on the sky ride across the fair grounds and partook of scones, curley fries and cotton candy... A wonderful few days.
"Many search for happiness as we look for a hat we wear on our heads."~ Nikolaus Lenus
Opening day, 9/17/04, for the new movie "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow"- a fun outing.
"Sky Captain" is a visual treat, fashioned after science fiction serials of days gone by, telling a story set in the 1930s of a manly fighter pilot and a female newpaper reporter saving the world- of course!
The top, left picture links to a site with a short clip worth viewing. The picture to the right links to a yahoo site with lots of good pictures and reviews.
Last, but not least, the bottom, left picture links to NPR and their review... Go see it and enjoy :)
"The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing knowledge."- Albert Einstein
My cousin Diane recently started conversing with me, via email from Michigan.
We have shared our woes regarding various of life's struggles, including parenting. And we have shared jokes...
Diane has also sent me lots of helpful information, such as ideas for party planning and creative ways to increase business volume.
She seems to still be a kind and helpful soul, just as she was when we played together as children. It will be fun seeing her again, which we do every couple of decades or so, in October.
"I like my friend for what is in her heart, not for the way she does things."- Sandra K. Lamberson
I read "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl a couple of months ago and have had it sitting here all that time, at my computer desk waiting for my brain to be able to tackle its immensity... the paperback book has about 25 teeny little scraps of paper marking pages whose passages I felt must be included with my commentary...
Mr. Frankl was a psychiatrist who spent several years as a prisoner in Nazi death camps. In this book he talks about that experience and what that experieince taught him about being alive and about being.
In lieu of paraphrasing his thoughts, I will include some excerpts a few times, both here and on the next page or so...
"But my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her look her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise.
A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth- that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way- an honorable way- in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words, 'the angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.'
In front of me a man stumbled and those following him fell on top of him. The guard rushed over and used his whip on them all. Thus my thoughts were interrupted for a few minutes."
More later... 
The little critters pictured to the left have been causing havoc here... Jay and I have had strep throat. The buggers continue to inhibit my activites, but I am hoping to successfully go to work tomorrow and complete the day. Last week I only made it to work on Thursday and then had to leave early... It makes me feel kinda like I imagine the cat at the right feels... And yet I have so much to do...
"Sit loosely in the saddle of life."- Robert Louis Stevenson
"The meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected."- Frankl (1963)
"By virtue of this capacity man is capable of detaching himself not only from a situation, but also from himself. He is capable of choosing his attitude toward himself."- Frankl (1969)
"According to logotherapy, we can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take towards unavoidable suffering."- Frankl (1984)
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Sound: Click on the LipsFeaturing: Car Talk, "Number 2..." |
Pictures posted here link to somewhere in the cyberworld, go ahead...click.
