November Thanks:
Life, Love and Giving

Wedding Pictures	Michigan Pictures	Train Trip Pictures	Story of Jay and Cindy

Life's splendor forever lies in wait about each one of us in all its fullness, but veiled from view, deep down, invisible, far off. It is there, though, not hostile, not reluctant, not deaf. If you summon it by the right word, by its right name, it will come.- Franz Kafka

Our personal life has been busy, and I have chosen to ignore the rather frightening world outside our small lives- and I told Rev. Will that I did not want to piss off the minister before our wedding...

Back in September, which seems like eons ago, I wrote about reading "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor E. Frankl and wanting to relay so many of Frankl's thoughts about living in Nazi concentration camps. I had decided to include excerpts over the period of a few months (in webpage time) rather than attempting to paraphrase his important ideas, but, alas, I have been negligent in attending to that task I had assigned myself... but, nonetheless, I have returned and refocused on my attempt to shed light on, well, on everything:

"The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living. Yet it is possible to practice the art of living even in a concentration camp, although suffering is omnipresent. To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the 'size' of human suffering is absolutely relative." (pg. 64)

"The experiences of camp life show that man does have a choice of action. There were enough examples, often of a heroic nature, which proved that apathy coudl be overcome, irritability suppressed. Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." (pg. 86)

"Seen from this point of view, the mental reactions of the inmates of a concentration camp must seem more to us than the mere expression of certain physical and sociological conditions. Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone. Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under such circumstances, decide what shall become of him- mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. Dostoevski said once, ‘There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.’ These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost. It can be said that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom- which cannot be taken away- that makes life meaningful and purposeful." (pg. 87)



More later...

I get books on CDs at the library and listen to them in my car. I recently listened to The Diary of Anne Frank which, for some reason, I had never read. It was striking to hear the intelligent. introspective ideas springing forth in the diary and realize how very young she was when she wrote those words. It was exciting to listen to the young person developing into an adult. Sigh...

Anne was born the same day as my father, June 12, 1929. She died in March of 1945, before she could turn 16. The world lost and gained so much at the same time.

Nothing happened. Almost nothing. A feather fell. - Charles Kennedy

Time and life are something, aren't they??

November 12th is my birthday, now (who would have thought) I am 51. That is a BIG Yikes!!

The last year has brought some personal peace and happiness: I am blessed to have found Jay. Life this last year has not always been easy, friends have died, other friends have had difficult losses and my children have caused me to worry more than once. Being a mother is so hard- we wish for so much for our children and seem to be able to help them so little, not to mention our own short-comings as parents as we ourselves continue to try to grow.

The next year... well, time will tell, time will reveal all. With luck, there will still be lots of time and lots of birthdays.

A birthday present to myself (besides my new digital camera) of words from one of my favorite singer/songwriters:

Time Taketh Away-Words And Music By Cheryl Wheeler

Time takes us from cradle to grave,
From helpless to helpless again,
And there ain’t no turning back
On this one way track,
'Cause one day we’re bound to give in.

And it just keeps rollin’ by
Like the sun in the sky,
Like the darkness
that follows the day.
And it may be the Lord who giveth,
But it’s time that taketh away.

You watch us grow up,
We watch you grow old,
It’s the order we’ve known from the start.
But it don’t help to know
When time’s runnin’ low
'Cause I swear it still tears us apart.

And it just keeps rollin’ by
Like the sun in the sky,
Like the darkness
that follows the day.
And it may be the Lord who giveth,
But it’s time that taketh away.

And how can I start
To take this in stride?
Who let your strength start to fade?
And how can I stop the tears in my eyes,
You’re fading away, you're fading away.

And it just keeps rollin’ by
Like the sun in the sky,
Like the darkness
that follows the day.
And it may be the Lord who giveth,
But it’s time that taketh away.
But it’s time that taketh away.

6/19/93

I had a wonderful birthday. Jay gave me pearl earrings and a beautiful card at breakfast, very lovely. At work I received nice gifts and cards, plus a big cake. Mary gave me a bag of food with a favorite recipe of hers- what a clever idea. I fixed the bean recipe yesterday and it was Yummy!

We went out to eat at a place in downtown Bellingham called The Wild Garlic and I would have to highly recommend it for a special dinner out- excellent food.

The garlic picture links to a site about the restaurant.

Mary Bradley's Fiesta Bean Soup Recipe
2 cans Salsa
1 can black beans
1 can kidney beans
1 can chili beans
1 can white beans
Fresh Cilantro

Mix, heat and serve with a spoonful of yogurt or sour cream on top, with some good bread. Simple and simply good.


With each new day I put away the past and discover the new beginnings I have been given.- Angela L. Wozniak

I kill an ant
and realize my three children
have been watching.
- Shuson Kato


When I stand before thee at the day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing.- Rabindranath Tagore

Life imitates art, or art imitates life.

One thing I enjoyed about Saving Private Ryan was its unabashedly honest portrayal of war. After storming the beaches of Normandy and seeing their buddies killed, soldiers shot Germans who were in the process of surrendering. Such was the real life of real people.

The movie received popular acclaim and there were stories of young people leaving movie theatres and thanking veterans in the crowd for what they had done for us.

Who knows what motivated the pulling of this movie by some ABC affiliates? I guess real real life is too much to watch.

People are interesting animals- intelligent, but the average IQ is only 100. Mature adults decide to go to war, but real wars are fought by very young men. From the vantage point to which this life has taken me, it appears that wars are fought by children. That's too bad; I think the task at hand is for us to do better.

"Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such."- Henry Miller

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

"Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway."- Steven Coallier

The AARP Bulletin recently had an article by William H. Thomas, MD that was an adaptation from his new book What Are Old People For? I loved his writings and plan to read the book. The animation to the left links to the book for sale on Amazon and the one to the right links to a site about Dr. Thomas.

In the article, Dr. Thomas talks about looking at life as the "dynamic and unfolding interplay between the state of 'being' and the state of 'doing'. It all plays out in five ages: childhood, adolescence, adulthood, senescence and elderhood." He describes infancy or childhood as a time of being and finds elderhood to be similar, with adulthood as a time of doing. Adolescence, as we all know, is a time of transitioning to adulthood, but Dr. Thomas goes on to describe another time of transition that he calls senescence. This transition is also not an easy time, as it juggles the space between adulthood and elderhood. "The first sign that you are preparing to grow out of adulthood is the dawning awareness of the heavy toll taken by things that you 'have to do'. The shadow of doubt appears only tentatively at first... transformed into a desire to set aside the world of 'have to do' in order to begin exploring the mysteries that cloak the world of 'want to do'... The senescent is much more likely to want to bake cookies than to have to bake cookies. As a result, children are usually more than welcome."

Dr. Thomas goes on to describe differences in the approach to tasks as one learns to move into the realm of elderhood, and ends with: "Like water on stone, this gradual progression is the source of aging's power." Each of us is so very special, and each is so very much like the other. Much of life simply is. I became worn out with the "doing", despite its necessity, and find the "being" nourishes. The thing I love most about Jay is how he "feels", how he "feels" to be with. It nourishes me. It is good.

The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection; the water has no mind to receive their image.- Zenrin poem

Turkey Day 2004... once again Americans gave thanks for their abundance by sitting down and consuming an average of 2,000 calories in one meal. Ah, yes, but it is yummy.

Jay has been a vegetarian for around 30 years, and I don't eat nearly as much meat these days, sticking mostly to poultry and some seafood. We celebrated our own abundance at home today, with Kira's help. Once again, we have fallen short of the norm, consuming no meat today and I don't think we even began to approach 2,000 calories in our feast- despite a lovely brunch with a cheese and egg souffle sort of thing, hashbrown casserole, biscuits and vegetarian gravy, mandarin oranges, and zucchini-nut bread. Most of the items were new recipes and, thankfully, all turned out well. We finished with my traditional pumpkin pie and whipped cream. Hmmm, not a small meal, but not too decadent. Of course, as I write this, I am helping to take care of some more of the pie...

So, thankfulness. Yes, a very important thing. I am thankful for this opportunity to be alive and to learn to be me, I am thankful to have found the touch I had been searching for all of my life without knowing it, I am thankful that my daughters are healthy and safe and that they have their own strengths and wisdoms to hold onto now and ones yet to find, I am thankful for a wonderful and loving family that put together a lovely wedding for us and shared that day with us, I am thankful to have my old friend Will's blessing of our marriage, I am thankful for many, many other things and I am thankful that in this life thinking of and focusing on these things gives me strength, clarity and peace. What a blessing.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.- William James

Viktor E. Frankl:

"Then I spoke of the many opportunities of giving life a meaning. I told my comrades (who lay motionless, although occasionally a sigh could be heard) that human life, under any circumstances, never ceases to have a meaning, and that this infinite meaning of life includes suffering and dying, privation and death. I asked the poor creatures who listened to me attentively in the darkness of the hut to face up to the seriousness of our position. They must not lose hope but should keep their courage in the certainty that the hopelessness of our struggle did not detract from its dignity and meaning. I said that someone looks down on each of us in difficult hours- a friend, a wife, somebody alive or dead, or a God- and he would not expect us to disappoint him. He would hope to find us suffering proudly- not miserably- knowing how to die."

Mr. Frankl and his comrades suffered so, indeed, and their sufferings had great purpose, providing a lesson available to all mankind, available for any of us who will but contemplate the meaning of their sufferings.

As the United States contemplates how to proceed with its wars and its prisoners of war, and as Israel and Palestine contemplate how they too will proceed, I hope that we and they will rise to the occassion and look back at the lessons already provided for us. I hope that we can move beyond our desires to appear right, can move beyond the "shoulds" and stretch our comfort zones to include people and cultures who not only look and act differently than ourselves but who think and believe differently too, and proceed forward with the harder task of doing what is right. What are those core values that are so freely spoken of yet never really enumerated? What is it about our values that makes us better than people who don't share those values? If we choose to believe along these lines, what have we chosen to include in our plans that will keep us from going down the same slippery slope that Hitler chose to go down when he decided that he and those like him were better than all others? What is it in our actions that makes some other nations uncomfortable? Is it important for us to understand how we are perceived by others? We are the leader of the free world; we need to set the bar high. Our actions will determine our outcomes and our hand, our intentions, will always be shown as time plays it out.

A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.- D. Elton Trueblood

Ok, enough of all that preaching...
time for some amusement!

Click on the billboards to go to the site...

When one subtracts from life infancy (which is vegetation), sleep, eating and swilling, buttoning and unbuttoning -- how much remains of downright existence? The summer of a dormouse.- Lord Byron

November 28th was Jay's birthday- HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAY!! A lot to contemplate.

We enjoyed ourselves on Jay's birthday, with a lazy morning and brunch, gifts from afar, decadent lollygagging, bumbling about town, renewing our library card, dinner out and a trip to Walmart. Life really can't get much better.

Real life seems to have no plots.- Ivy Compton Burnett

The Beatles - Blackbird

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.


I heard a jazz instrumental version of this Beatles song on the radio Sunday morning and remembered how cool the lyrics were- what a surprise to look them up and find that I was not waiting for this moment to arrive but waiting for this moment to arise... so much for my musical ear.

Nice picture of Kira from Thanksgiving Day, eh? Yes. C'iao for the month- see you in December.

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